One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

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The Summer I Had Planned

I had big plans for this summer. I was going to get outside more, take photographs, shoot video and record sound. Now we are halfway through August, and reality has not quite matched those plans.

I have barely spent any time out in nature at all. The energy simply has not been there.

When Plans Meet Reality

That is one of the frustrating things about burnout. My brain can still make plans, come up with ideas and set goals, but turning those plans into reality can be a much bigger obstacle than I sometimes want to admit.

And it easily becomes counterproductive. You want to do things, but you do not have the energy, and eventually the desire itself becomes another source of stress.

As I see it, there are two extremes. Either you accept the situation and let go of the plans, or you force yourself to get out anyway. Neither option is particularly easy. I have a hard time letting go, while pushing myself through the resistance is not always a good idea either.

So I suppose it is about finding some kind of balance.

Planning a little less and trying to get outside now and then, without every trip needing a clear purpose or having to result in something.

Lowering the Threshold

I have done exactly that a couple of times this summer. I left the cameras and recording equipment at home, took my hammock and headed into the woods. I hung it between two trees and simply stayed there for a while.

It has actually been very relaxing.

Getting outside without that internal pressure to constantly produce something changes the experience quite a lot. The forest does not have to be a workplace. Sometimes it can just be a forest.

And things have not been completely still either. I have been out a few times to record sound, take photographs and shoot a little video. Nowhere near as much as I had planned, but enough for it to feel okay.

Behind the Scenes

There has also been quite a lot happening behind the scenes.

I have been working on a new plugin for the website that will make managing the audio files and sound library easier. Partly for me when I administer the site, but also for you when you visit it.

There are still a few small things left to fix, but fairly soon the current sound library will be replaced by the new one. When that happens, significantly more recordings will also become available.

The goal is still to spend more time in the woods and gather new material. But I am trying to get better at letting reality decide the pace.

One thing I do know is that I never regret the times when I actually get outside.

And perhaps part of the solution is to make the threshold as low as possible. It does not have to be an expedition every time, with a fully packed backpack and a long list of things that need to be photographed or recorded.

Sometimes a Zoom F3, a pair of Clippy microphones, a hammock and a thermos of coffee are enough.

And just taking it easy for a while.

After all, that is a big part of the reason for going outside in the first place.